- Keith is former head of ACOM; he mentors about 90 leaders in church and parachurch ministries around Australia; about 50% Pentecostal, the rest mostly Church of Christ and Baptist
- Keith was asked to be a mentor by people before he even knew what mentoring was. He refused on the basis that he couldn't do what they did. They said that they weren't looking for a coach for what they did, but a mentor for who they were.
- started mentoring about 4.5 years ago, so he is really talking about it before he should. Now mentoring about 90 leaders across Australia
- books: John Malson (sp?); Mentoring Matters, Rick Lewis
- ministry is a tough gig, and getting tougher! Senior Pastors and youth pastors are the hardest of the hard.
- Local church ministry is one of the most stressful professions
- Keith has been shocked on a regular basis
- All of the leaders he mentors are high quality people; about 1/3 are or should be on anxiety or depression medication
- 2/3 of the time, he talks to people about issues which could take them out of ministry today or tomorrow.
- most ministers don't finish well; there are more ex-pastors in Australia than pastors
- You don't need to have experience in the specific field of your mentorees; it's about the person not the job
- Keith lets people talk about whatever they want for as long as they want, but usually spends 2 hrs, 5 times a year; 3 hrs for couples (1 hr each, 1 together); most people end up taking about 30 minutes to talk about the things on their mind
- If someone says they are doing well, doesn't believe them! :-) At least not without asking a few hard questions.
- Everyone in ministry should have at least one mentor, one coach, and a peer group.
- Mentoring is not:
- counselling (he will not do counselling sessions with a mentoree more than 3 times)
- pastoral care (he is not physically present often enough to do that)
- spiritual formation/direction (per se)
although it contains elements of all of these
- Sees his role as a general practitioner of ministry; might refer people to specialists where necessary
- Uses a template with a minimalist structure - 5 points: spirituality, relationships, emotional health, life balance/rhythm, vulnerability; runs through them all again even if they have already talked about it
- This is the most important part - most people who discontinue professional ministry don't do so because of skills or roles; they do it because they can't handle the pressure
- It's about character; your character comes out under pressure.
- People are unravelling in ministry on a daily basis.
- Questions used:
- How are you and God?
- Do you like him, and do you reckon he likes you?
- Are you close friends?
- It's about passion, not "ought to". Our doing comes out of our being.
- Q: Do you mentor women by yourself?
- A: yes - with eyes and ears open for problems. If his wife has a problem with it, he has a problem with it. Generally, wives are more alert to problem issues than their husbands.
- with family, with church team, with draining people
- Questions used:
- Are you good friends with your wife?
- Do you spend regular time together?
- Do you have fun together?
- Are you allowing your leadership energy to be drained by demanding people?
- Team problems are epidemic - a lot of the reason for this is the emphasis on giftedness rather than character.
- Questions:
- how full is your tank?
- How motivated are you to do your ministry?
- Are you being distant, judgemental, paranoid?
- Are you finding it hard to get out of bed because the day seems so difficult compared with the energy available for it?
- Younger leaders are more prone to burnout than older leaders, especially those in youth ministry.
- ministry seems to defy basic rational principles of work/life balance.
- Performance-driven people are especially susceptible to issues here
- Only quadrant 1 activities (i.e. BOTH urgent AND important) should be sufficient to interrupt a regular day off. If it's not urgent, do it after your day off. If it's not important, don't do it at all. Sleep!!!! Sleep is NOT a waste of time. We don't know why it helps us recover, but it does. Try to make your sleep time coincide with your spouse's! Healthy eating, exercise, retreating - regularly! Develop the capacity to step aside and relax!
- Q: tools to determine how much sleep is necessary?
- A: see research by Archibald Hart, Fuller Theological Seminary. For a simple test, how do you feel in the early afternoon?
- Questions:
- If Satan was going to get you out of ministry, how would he do it?
- What are your weaknesses?
- What have you struggled with previously?
- The biggest struggle amongst Christian leaders today is discouragement.
- Consumerism is losing steam. The reason: the ones who do consumer-driven best are LOSING PEOPLE.
- Keith has promised his wife that he will tell her within 24 hours if he ever accesses pornography. This has saved him, despite being severely tempted, many times.
- Mentoring is a basic discipline. It's discipleship 101, not discipleship 301.
- Face to face mentoring is really important.
- You can't grow as a disciple just by attending a small group. You need personal relationship and intentionality.
- Preferably you need to choose your mentor(s), not have them chosen for you.