Important Note

Birkdale Baptist Church has been receiving enquiries resulting from this page for some time. These are just my notes from Keith's session at National Youth Ministry Convention 2009. We are not affiliated with Keith in any way, and do not have direct contact details for him. If you want to contact him, we suggest you do so through National Youth Ministry Convention's web site or Facebook page.

Intro to Keith and how he does mentoring

• Keith is former head of ACOM; he mentors about 90 leaders in church and parachurch ministries around Australia; about 50% Pentecostal, the rest mostly Church of Christ and Baptist
• Keith was asked to be a mentor by people before he even knew what mentoring was. He refused on the basis that he couldn't do what they did. They said that they weren't looking for a coach for what they did, but a mentor for who they were.
• started mentoring about 4.5 years ago, so he is really talking about it before he should. Now mentoring about 90 leaders across Australia
• books: John Malson (sp?); Mentoring Matters, Rick Lewis
• ministry is a tough gig, and getting tougher! Senior Pastors and youth pastors are the hardest of the hard.
• Local church ministry is one of the most stressful professions
• Keith has been shocked on a regular basis
• All of the leaders he mentors are high quality people; about 1/3 are or should be on anxiety or depression medication
• 2/3 of the time, he talks to people about issues which could take them out of ministry today or tomorrow.
• most ministers don't finish well; there are more ex-pastors in Australia than pastors
• You don't need to have experience in the specific field of your mentorees; it's about the person not the job
• Keith lets people talk about whatever they want for as long as they want, but usually spends 2 hrs, 5 times a year; 3 hrs for couples (1 hr each, 1 together); most people end up taking about 30 minutes to talk about the things on their mind
• If someone says they are doing well, doesn't believe them! :-) At least not without asking a few hard questions.
• Everyone in ministry should have at least one mentor, one coach, and a peer group.
• Mentoring is not:
  • counselling (he will not do counselling sessions with a mentoree more than 3 times)
  • pastoral care (he is not physically present often enough to do that)
  • spiritual formation/direction (per se)

  although it contains elements of all of these

• Sees his role as a general practitioner of ministry; might refer people to specialists where necessary
• Uses a template with a minimalist structure - 5 points: spirituality, relationships, emotional health, life balance/rhythm, vulnerability; runs through them all again even if they have already talked about it

Spirituality

• This is the most important part - most people who discontinue professional ministry don't do so because of skills or roles; they do it because they can't handle the pressure
• It's about character; your character comes out under pressure.
• People are unravelling in ministry on a daily basis.
• Questions used:
  • How are you and God?
  • Do you like him, and do you reckon he likes you?
  • Are you close friends?
  • It's about passion, not "ought to". Our doing comes out of our being.
• Q: Do you mentor women by yourself?
• A: yes - with eyes and ears open for problems. If his wife has a problem with it, he has a problem with it. Generally, wives are more alert to problem issues than their husbands.

Relationships

• with family, with church team, with draining people
• Questions used:
  • Are you good friends with your wife?
  • Do you spend regular time together?
  • Do you have fun together?
  • Are you allowing your leadership energy to be drained by demanding people?
• Team problems are epidemic - a lot of the reason for this is the emphasis on giftedness rather than character.

Emotional health

• Questions:
  • how full is your tank?
  • How motivated are you to do your ministry?
  • Are you being distant, judgemental, paranoid?
  • Are you finding it hard to get out of bed because the day seems so difficult compared with the energy available for it?
• Younger leaders are more prone to burnout than older leaders, especially those in youth ministry.

Life balance

• ministry seems to defy basic rational principles of work/life balance.
• Performance-driven people are especially susceptible to issues here
• Only quadrant 1 activities (i.e. BOTH urgent AND important) should be sufficient to interrupt a regular day off. If it's not urgent, do it after your day off. If it's not important, don't do it at all. Sleep!!!! Sleep is NOT a waste of time. We don't know why it helps us recover, but it does. Try to make your sleep time coincide with your spouse's! Healthy eating, exercise, retreating - regularly! Develop the capacity to step aside and relax!
• Q: tools to determine how much sleep is necessary?
• A: see research by Archibald Hart, Fuller Theological Seminary. For a simple test, how do you feel in the early afternoon?

Vulnerability

• Questions:
  • If Satan was going to get you out of ministry, how would he do it?
  • What are your weaknesses?
  • What have you struggled with previously?
• The biggest struggle amongst Christian leaders today is discouragement.

Closing thoughts

• Consumerism is losing steam. The reason: the ones who do consumer-driven best are LOSING PEOPLE.
• Keith has promised his wife that he will tell her within 24 hours if he ever accesses pornography. This has saved him, despite being severely tempted, many times.
• Mentoring is a basic discipline. It's discipleship 101, not discipleship 301.
• Face to face mentoring is really important.
• You can't grow as a disciple just by attending a small group. You need personal relationship and intentionality.
• Preferably you need to choose your mentor(s), not have them chosen for you.