• Background is social work and juvenile justice
• Traditional youth ministry: Friday night social & service program; various activities focused on service like elderly people, single mums, etc. Have sent $25,000 to Hagar fund in the last year. Also have Sunday services and small groups, and special mornings where teens share their SOAP reflections.
• Ideas are not big, dramatic, special, rocket science, etc.
• For a very long time had no idea how he stayed in youth ministry for so long.
• Chooses to see youth ministry as a privilege, not a right or duty. "I don't think i've done the youth or God some big favour by being in youth ministry." "I don't see myself as an expert." Doesn't see someone
• It really does make a difference how you view things: keep looking on it as a privilege. If you see marriage as a privilege, your marriage will be stronger - if you see it as a duty or a right it will not work so well. Ministry is the same.
• Book: "Wonder: moments that keep you falling in love with life", Arthur Gordon. "Tragedy is more often not what we suffer, but what we miss." Try not to be in such a hurry that you miss things!
• Find ways to notice things that are a big deal to God.
• Arthur Gordon paused often enough to notice things that needed to notice.
• Many times in ministry, Ross has not noticed things enough - has made a conscious effort to slow down
• John Ortberg asked a spiritual mentor these questions: "What must i do to be spiritually healthy, and what do i need to do guard my heart?" The answer: "ruthlessly eliminate hurry from your life." No one will do that for you.
• For far too many years, Ross was always in too much of a hurry. It has affected almost every area of his life. Was doing a lot of very impressive things, but was very unhealthy and didn't have enough time for his kids. But what they needed was for him to give them his time. His daughter said: "Dad, i really need you to listen with your eyes."
• Too much of our sense of worth in ministry is tied up in activity.
• Howard Hendricks: The hardest decisions in life are those between what is good and what is best.
• When the decision comes between a family event and a ministry event, ask yourself: can someone else in ministry do this? Does my kid have another dad who can do it?
• Build space into your life - you need buffer time between ministry events and the rest of the week. Respect your day off! If you're doing a good job in ministry, there will always be people wanting to take your day off "just this once". Ross doesn't even apologise about this any more - he just politely says no.
• Ortberg HAD SOMEONE of whom he could ask the hard questions. Make sure you have a mentor! Must be someone who cares enough not to give you the pat answers. Ross' church pays for Keith Farmer to mentor him.
• Keith Farmer's questions: how are you with God? How is your ministry? How are you with church? What are your frustrations, celebrations, etc.? How are you with your wife & kids? How is your life going? What other things have you been doing? How is your garden going? How is your exercise, how is your sleep? Where are you vulnerable at the moment? Are there unhealthy patterns?
• Keith also remembers what they talk about, and reminds him the next time what he said he would do. He talks to Ross' wife, and asks the same questions of her.
• Mentoring has been a MAJOR shift in his ministry effectiveness, spiritual health, and physical health.
• Communion talk: What would happen if we looked at our next communion as one less time we had the opportunity? You savour ministry opportunities when you view them as one less opportunity to do them in future. This makes you more focused, less worried about messing around, less worried about what people think, less worried about reputation and being invited back. Frees you to be a lot more truthful and relaxed. Gets you out of the performance stuff - we desperately need to get out of "trying to impress" mode. Ministry is a privilege! Work at this, and choose it.
• Find someone who you can ask "What do you think i need to do in order to be spiritually healthy, and what do you think i need to do to guard my heart?"

Quickfire section:

• Your leaders more important than your kids. Invest in them, equip them, train them, give them opportunities. Encourage, encourage, encourage! Thank, thank, thank! You must come with the mindset asking "How can i encourage and thank my leaders, and how can i show it best?" How can i encourage you to be more spiritually healthy. Has only 3 leaders meetings per term, one of which is just a meal. Kids spell love T.I.M.E. So do leaders, so does God. When you choose them, look for Godliness, not giftedness. Look for servant hearts. Look for the ones who hang around and clean up afterwards. Look for the ones who are ready to encourage the outsiders.
• Book: "The Skilled Helper". Counseling is never neutral - you are always doing good, or doing damage. One or the other.
• A counsellor's ability to help people is most dramatically affected not by their qualifications and experience, but by their level of function (i.e. healthy relationships, no substance abuse, etc.), and their practice of spiritual disciplines. The same is true with all Christian leaders.
• Book: McMin, "Christian Counseling and Spirituality"
• Model the leadership you want to see in your leaders. If you want leaders who pray, pray! If you want leaders who know and hear from God, read the Scriptures yourself! If you want to see servant leaders, model it! If you want youth to build relationships with unbelievers, be involved with unbelievers!
• Book: Mother Theresa, "Come be my light"; she made vows that she dared not to break before God: "I will always go to the end of the line"; "I will always volunteer to clean up". Don't ever think you're beyond vacuuming and wiping down tables.
• When he coaches AFL, he does so with no agenda. Not looking to evangelise, not looking to sort out their lives, but just to serve. Now, of the 6 coaches in the club, 4 of them come to the church.
• 1 Thes 1 in the Message: "Your lives are echoing the Master's word. ... You are the Message."
• Prayer before going to AFL training: please may i represent you well, Lord.
• In full-time ministry, we desperately need to be doing something that isn't church.
• Try to put as much as you can into writing. Two reasons: it helps you process and think it through. He wrote "who we are and who we aren't" for his youth group. They become a fallback and a reminder for you, leaders, parents, and the youth. You don't have to invent it - borrow and adapt.
• "I'm not into friendship evangelism, where i become your friend to get you to become a Christian." You're not trying to lead people in your relationships into some third party - the relationship is the end.
• Principle: try not to embarras our young people. No cringe factor. If you have relationships with unbelievers, you can think "How can i make something that has no cringe factor for my non Christian friends."
• If you want to be treated as a professional, act like one. If you want to be taken seriously, read, listen, evaluate, question. Keep learning, keep sharpening, keep evaluating. "Am i growing up, or just growing old?"
• Don't be fazed by fads. Work out what is right for your kids and stick at it.
• Make prayer a major part of what you do. Our youth ministry is not about us.
• Fun should be part and parcel of everything we do.